Miscellaneous Jokes
    Hodgepodge

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife is.

Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves.
After marriage, the "y" becomes silent.

Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why.
When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why.

A man met a genie. The genie told him he could have whatever he
wanted provided that his mother-in-law gets double. The man thought
for a moment and then said, "OK, give me a million dollars and beat
me half to death."

The honeymoon is over when the husband calls home to say he'll be late
for dinner and the answering machine says it is in the microwave.

Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about
something you said.
After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.