He is not a BAD DANCER,
he is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.
He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME,
he INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.
He is not BALDING,
he is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.
He is not a CRADLE ROBBER,
he prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS.
He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK,
he becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.
He does not act like a TOTAL ASS,
he develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.
He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG,
he has SWINE EMPATHY.
He is not afraid of COMMITMENT,
he is MONOGAMOUSLY IMPAIRED.
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